DON'T LOOK NOW, WE'RE CHANGING

“Sorry,” she said, “I don’t have change”

..And I wondered…

This whole situation these days is again about shyly asking for, with the ever present fear of rejection - for change...

Well, whatever happens to the change…I mean we hear this all the while, I don’t have change ( so please give me) and you usually  90% of the time at least, give it on demand……so what do they do with all the change they pile up ? If they don’t pile up where does it all go?

“Bring the change you want”

Who said it? Barack Obama? Gandhi? Martin Luther King? Mark Twain?

Correct answer – Bus conductor in state transport bus Saar.

So we don’t know where change goes….for that matter do we know from where it comes? The only constant is change said someone. And then we had Mr. Obama famously say,” In one week, at this defining moment in history, you can give this country the change we need “

So America was supposed to change. But what about the rest of us? Well , “ the old order changeth, giving place to new”….but to me that happens every day, every minute, every second we are in a different world than what it was in the last second, minute or day or year, but we don’t measure change in such tiny increments. We wait for big milestones. So America has changed because we had an underdog as a President who in his own words, “neither the pollsters not the pundits were ready to give much of a chance” at the start of his campaign. But do you think America changed WHEN he became President? If you look around, not really. America had begun changing years ago, getting READY for the acceptance of this guy as the President even though at a sub-conscious level, slowly but definitely a day at a time – small measure indeed for a large nation, but that’s what eventually propelled a man with his background into The Oval Office.

So if a nation like the US of A which has been a traditional holder of conservative values has changed so much, where are we? What are we changing? Or changing from? Or changing into?

Hark back to 1985.  Most of my readers would have been just about born then or later (or at least imagine so), That was the year our then Prime Minister late Mr. Rajiv Gandhi had famously remarked, “Our administrative machinery is cumbersome, archaic and alien to the needs and aspirations of the people. It has successfully resisted the imperative of change “

“You must be the change you want to see in the world” Gandhi M.K

But is it so easy to embrace change? Personally speaking, yes and no. Yes because one gets bored pretty fast of doing the same thing and wants to make it better all the time, No, because at another level one is not prepared to change…Happens to all of us. We are happy to change a phone or even a car maybe, but the decision to change an address is more stressful and painful, the decision to change a partner, even more so. Interestingly, one of the funny things about the societies where partners are changed frequently is that the brands of the cigarettes or booze or drugs don’t change! So you see, we are ready to change, but only at a certain level, not at every level, every time

So in my personal view, change is like drinking water, some of it, measured quantities, with regularity. But overdo it and it can be dangerous. It’s worth noting that on its own, the planet took thousands and millions of years to change geographically and the resultant life forms, but manual intervention caused both to change in relatively extremely short bursts of time with disastrous consequences for both.

You’d be wondering where is this all leading to . I mean I’ve changed my thought tracks and my style of writing every few paragraphs.

But that IS the point.

To demonstrate change.

Now hopefully you think different than you did before reading this.

If yes, I have changed something in you.

If not, you are highly resistant and wary of change. Was it because you’ve had more than your share of change?

Too much of change is also a pain. Jingles and jangles every time you move. Better give it to her who asks for it.

And yes, if you benefit from it, Keep The Change!

  

 (C) Anurag Mathur

The Cracks Conversations

 From Promilla Qazi's wall -

Cracks on roof
Cracks on walls
Cracks getting wider
In between hearts
Cracks finally giving way
...To white noise and
Silent lies
Cracks giving hollow aura
Cracks pulling to darker sides

My Response

Cracks on the ceilin',
Cracks on the wall,
Cracks opening up to show us,

The fragility of it all
Cracks tell a story
Cracks kill the make believe,
Cracks never tell lies,
Cracks never deceive

Cracks test you out
To see your own desire,
To save what's cracking up,
And save it from the pyre
Of misguided delusions,
Powered by ego and greed,
Cracks are warning signs
Cracks are asking you to pay heed.

(C) Anurag Mathur 2012

The Ballad of You and I

I was standing at the gate

Waiting for friends who were late

When I saw you sail by

I saw you and lost control,

Beauty had to take its toll

I nearly fainted and sighed

There she goes , I thought

She isn’t mine so what

There ‘s no harm in making a try

Moments later in the class

Was waiting for time to pass

Youwalked in and I couldn’t believe my eyes !

You sat in the front rows

With the guys we called the bores

Oh ! So pretty and so shy

A mystery to everyone

With looks meant to stun

At the end of class you just walked away

I lay awake all night

Thinking what you might

Say if walked up and said “ Hi !”

You had to clear a doubt

I don’t remember what about

You said , “ Excuse me” and I nearly died

I barely fumbled what I knew

Was so enchanted by you

I forget what I said in reply

Memories of that dialogue

Cleared my mental smog

nd a very very happy man was I

Well I made no more progress

Or any attempt to start afresh

I can’t explain so please don’t ask me why

Though I liked you from the start

From the bottom of my heart

I didn’t reckon time would fly

So fast and now you’re to go

I wonder why I didn’t say before

“We could have been friends, you and I”

 

(C) Anurag Mathur 1987

 

(C) Anurag Mathur

Marriage

We looked at the stars,
Every night before we spread,
Our printed coir mats,
under the fan
We gasped together,
At the AC bills as we spread,
ourselves on the Royal Divan
We have all this while,
Shared school and medical reports
Holidays, Long workdays,
Two cars one minivan
Pain, Laughter, Tears,
Smiles, Hopes, Fears,
Being around for each other
As only we can
(C) Anurag Mathur

THE CALL OF THE CROW

She perched herself on my window sill,
As she had done a thousand mornings before
And every single day ever since,
Till it had become a neccessary chore

To scatter the bread crumbs at the break of dawn,
And wait till she came for her breakfast
Watch her nibble till she'd finished them all,
And settle for our morning talk

She was extremely happy she cawed,
'So I am to be the topic of the day'
The beady eyes twinkled with unexpected glee,
I mockingly tried to shoo her away

'Don't be so happy,' I frowned,
I just can't think of what to write'
'That's because you are verily drowned '
She mocked, 'In your own sweet delusions of tripe'

'What does your job or even the lack of it,
Or even your poems or your glitterati
Or your fancying yourself a page 3 socialite,
Matter to someone who doesn't care where you party?'

' Are you saying my life is worthless ?,' I asked
Not sure of what she'd have to say
She turned her head at that strange angle
That only she could and fixed at me a cold stare

She said, ' Maybe not but come fly with me
Maybe I'll be able to show you how,
The lives of so many around you today are sadly changing
While all you do is sit on your perch and caw'

As I was recovering from this unexpected tirade,
She asked, ' Can you make a difference to even one life,
Maybe give a smile to someone in pain
Or even hold someone's hand as they walk alone in the rain?'

I pondered over this for a long while
Long after she had flown away.
Before I go with her on that flight
I need to change Myself, TODAY.

(C) Anurag Mathur